It could have been us too...
In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
"A wife loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. There is no word for a parent who loses a child. That's how awful the loss is." ~Jay Neugeboren, An Orphan's Tale
This whole month I have seen awareness posts on Facebook about miscarriages and infant loss. This month has been really hard for me. Devin and I should be announcing Baby Jackson #2... but we aren't. Back in July we took a trip to Northern Idaho. It was our last get together before Jason left on his mission. As we were getting into my grandma's house, something was off. I hurried to our room and to the bathroom and saw the blood. It didn't hit me right away what was going on. I didn't know I was pregnant (If I did I think it would have been 100 times harder). I called in Devin and my mom and tried to brush it off as if it was nothing. I was probably a few weeks along and since we were traveling and camping I didn't bring any pregnancy tests.
In the last few days I have seen pregnancy announcements galore. They are so cute...pumpkins inside of pumpkins and little skeletons on maternity shirts. I am so happy for all my friends and family, but I really do wish I was right there along side them announcing too.
I don't really know how to describe how I feel....The best words I can find is incomplete, broken, and sad. My friend from college's wife wrote this song and posted about her experience. The song is beautiful and exactly what I needed. (Start from 1:56 for music).
"A wife loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. There is no word for a parent who loses a child. That's how awful the loss is." ~Jay Neugeboren, An Orphan's Tale
This whole month I have seen awareness posts on Facebook about miscarriages and infant loss. This month has been really hard for me. Devin and I should be announcing Baby Jackson #2... but we aren't. Back in July we took a trip to Northern Idaho. It was our last get together before Jason left on his mission. As we were getting into my grandma's house, something was off. I hurried to our room and to the bathroom and saw the blood. It didn't hit me right away what was going on. I didn't know I was pregnant (If I did I think it would have been 100 times harder). I called in Devin and my mom and tried to brush it off as if it was nothing. I was probably a few weeks along and since we were traveling and camping I didn't bring any pregnancy tests.
In the last few days I have seen pregnancy announcements galore. They are so cute...pumpkins inside of pumpkins and little skeletons on maternity shirts. I am so happy for all my friends and family, but I really do wish I was right there along side them announcing too.
I don't really know how to describe how I feel....The best words I can find is incomplete, broken, and sad. My friend from college's wife wrote this song and posted about her experience. The song is beautiful and exactly what I needed. (Start from 1:56 for music).
A small update on our Family life: Kamille is one now!! Her party was fun and she loved her smash cake. All her grandparents could be there and also her aunt and uncle, Carlene and Nate. We had homemade pizza and BTS cake. She was spoiled for sure and I still haven't gotten all her room put together, due to clothes and toys overload. She is so blessed.
She loves her cousin's Emmalyn and Joey. When we were in Idaho this last weekend, she kept trying to give them hugs, but then wouldn't let them go, causing them to fall down. It was cute :) For Halloween she is a cabbage-patch doll.
I entered her into a Halloween costume contest and right now she is #22 out of 9,000....so that's pretty dang good! :)
Devin and I are staying busy, he's working a ton and I'm trying my best to be a good wife and mother.
I hope everyone has a safe and fun Halloween. LOVE YOU ALL,
Kaylynn Jackson
