One Day at a Time

Did you know...exactly ONE year ago I met the man I would marry? Yep that's right, on May 3, 2013 I was eating ice cream at Nielsen's Custard with a good friend. In walked my prince... after that it's pretty much history. I am still so in love with him and I don't expect that to change ever.

This year we moved to North Dakota, at least for a few months. We are trying our hardest to get out of debt and start out on a clean slate. A week before we moved I was laying on the couch feeling grumpy. Devin wanted dinner and I didn't want to cook it, I really wanted to drive to Costa Vida and get the grilled chicken salad with the cilantro lime dressing (It's my favorite). I just remember yelling at Devin, "I NEED COSTA VIDA!!!!"He then replied, "Go pee on a stick...you are really grumpy!" So I went to the bathroom, peed on the the stick...waited a few seconds then threw it in the garbage and told him that it was negative and asked if we could leave yet. He didn't believe I did it...so I argued with him a little bit and then proved it. I reached in the trash and looked at it and saw....wait for it....two lines!!!!! For those of you who aren't professionals on pregnancy tests...that means positive. I got really nervous and showed Devin, he got really excited, then we celebrated by going to Costa Vida.

The other line is there... you have to look REALLY closely...

We packed everything up and were on our way to North Dakota. I have never seen a little car packed down with so much. We couldn't even fit another water bottle in the car. We moved into a small camp trailer. It was tiny. It didn't have water so we had to go next door to use the bathroom, shower, do laundry, and wash dishes. That was pretty annoying; also Devin had an online class still so we had to drive 6 miles to Parshall (where my dad lives) and used their internet to do homework. Devin started work soon and he loved being in the oil field. He likes to learn new things and is fascinated by the work. I started work with my dad at least for two days...

On our way to North Dakota...

A flare on the site I was working on with my Dad

On February 27th I got home from a long day of work and things went way down hill. I felt like I had to use the bathroom, I was heading to the door when I felt something wet. I looked in my pants and I saw blood gushing out. I screamed for Devin to come back in and couldn't help the tears. I felt like I was hyper ventilating. I told him to get my dad, hoping that he hadn't left yet. I couldn't believe what was happening. I have never cried like this before, I was shaking and just so sad. My dad told me that I should get in the tub with some warm water and to keep anything that came out so we could take it to the hospital. I made it to the bathroom and was amazed at all the blood. I knew that my baby was gone. I couldn't stop apologizing to Devin. I was so sorry for what had happened. I didn't know what I did wrong but somehow it was my fault. Devin was trying to be strong but I could tell he had been crying. We were so excited for this baby to come. All of a sudden I felt something coming. Devin handed me a large Cola cup and I held it ready to catch. A small bloody mess dropped into the cup and with it my heart. Soon the blood stopped flowing, I cleaned up, and we were on the way to the hospital an hour away.

The next hardest thing to do was to call our family that knew we were pregnant and tell them the awful news. I told my dad to call my mom and have her tell those on my side that knew. Devin was next and he called his family. This is where he couldn't be strong anymore. To use that word "miscarriage" changed everything. He cried like I had never seen before. It just made me cry even more. After the families were informed and we calmed down a bit, we could talk. I remember Devin's words hit right at home, "I am sad for all the memories we aren't going to have with our little peanut. I will never hold it, teach it to ride a bike, hug it, or be there for it." I thought about all my friends and family that had gone through this. I knew it was a hard thing to go through but I thought I would never have to go through it myself.

We made it to the ER and it seemed like forever. I had to tell the story over and over again with each doctor and nurse. I had many tests done that were uncomfortable and probably really embarrassing. I didn't care, I felt numb. They could do whatever they wanted to. They did a pelvic exam, took 9 vials of blood from me, didn't let me eat or drink anything, did an ultrasound, a trans-vaginal ultrasound, and also hooked me up to a catheter. After 5 hours in the ER the doctor came in with the diagnosis. "Your have a healthy baby. It's heart rate is 160 bpm and everything looks okay. You are measuring around 7 weeks." Those words were the sweetest words I could ever hear. It turned out that I had a massive blood clot in my uterus. It measured 4 inches long and 2 inches thick. I was ordered to be on bed rest for 3 weeks and to take it easy.

This was the first time I had ever been away from my husband. I know we haven't been married long, but it was really hard. I stayed at my Aunt's in Minot while my husband lived an hour away working. We could text and skype sometimes, but every night I would reach out for him and he wouldn't be there, and I would start crying again. This only lasted a week, thank goodness. I had another doctors appointment and got to see my baby for the first time.

Devin drove up one night and came and got me. After this I wasn't allowed to work in the oil fields because of medical reasons and after the last two weeks were up I started looking for a job and we moved to a single wide with running water and internet! I landed a job at the Cenex about a half mile from our trailer. I was training as a cashier and a deli helper. Three days after I started work, on a Sunday (the 13th), I came home exhausted and just wanted to sleep. At midnight I woke up suddenly feeling like something was wrong. I jumped out of bed to run to the bathroom and looked down and sure enough there was blood soaked through the sheets and my clothes. This time I didn't freak out. I woke Devin up and went straight to the tub. There wasn't nearly as much blood this time, and nothing big came out, only a little bit of tissue. The bleeding stopped after two hours and I went back to bed. In the morning I called work telling then I couldn't make it and then I called my OB GYN. I had a check-up appointment already scheduled for the next day so they said they would just check everything then. That meant I had a whole day to sit there and hope everything was going to be okay. Devin kept reassuring me he felt like everything was good, and I felt like it too.

When I got to the hospital that morning they first took 9 more vials of blood and then the doctor did an ultra sound. He found the baby and smiled. It was doing GREAT! It was bouncing around and moving like a little jelly bean. at one point it put it's little hand in the air and basically said hello.  Last time Devin got to see our baby was in the ER and he told me we were having a dinosaur. This time it was so special to be there together looking at our baby. He let us hear the heartbeat and it sounded so fast and strong. This time it was 161 bpm. That week we were almost to 12 weeks. The nurse told us that it was almost out of the danger zone! (I also quit my job at the Cenex to take care of my little family).

This one shows our baby's little hand it's the little circle above the two big circles.

So now that we are cleared to announce... and our baby is doing great...
Sorry this post is so long, but a lot has been going on and I feel that our friends and family should know what we have been going through. When I thought of this "Bump Ahead" announcement... I didn't think there would be so many bumps along the way.

Now at 14 weeks, we love you all,
Devin and Kaylynn Jackson